Well it’s been awhile since I’ve posted on here, obviously!

Hayden is in 1st grade.  She had to change schools this year due to her father passing away in April 2013 (story for another time).  I was worried about it as always but as she always does she proved to me there was nothing to worry about. 

She’s made huge progress!!  We found out from her kindergarten speech teacher that her tongue was tied.  It was clipped in June after school let out and it was crazy how much that changed her speech right away.  She still has a ways to go as the doctor said her tongue was like that for 6.5 years and that is how she functioned so now she needs to retrain herself. 

It’s crazy the things she is saying now.  She can have a conversation with you and tell you what she wants, or needs, or thinks.  She still has times where she is hard to understand but they are getting less and less.

She’s doing pretty well in school too.  She still has a long way to go to catch up to where she needs to be but she is making progress. 

I’m just extremely proud of her and all she has done and dealt with!


Bad Dreams

So, Hayden has started complaining about having bad dreams. It started on Halloween. She was a witch for Halloween and that didn’t seem to bother her. Then when we went trick-or-treating she saw a teenager with a scary mask and was freaked out. Cool thing was he we were following each other around the neighborhood and he realized he was freaking out the little kids and took his mask off. After trick-or-treating I put Hayden’s witch costume in her closet and then she started complaining about bad dreams and about witches. So I’ve taken the costume out of her closet and the nightly complaints continue. She tries every trick in the book, she wants lights on, she wants me to lay with her, she wants to sleep with me. But she has only woken up one time since Halloween with a night terror during the night. She complains about bad dreams but only woke up once. So it’s a nightly struggle with her to get her to go to bed and when she is over tired it is worse. I hope this phase will pass soon.

The End of 2011 and Start of 2012

As I find myself back to this blog I realize I didn’t do so well on it.  The last post was over 10 months ago.  I guess that should be added to the resolutions list to do this more.

But life is so busy that things fall by the wayside for me like always.  With work alone by the time I get home I want to do nothing.  Then on the weeks I have the kids it is busy busy busy.  Just to get them home, dinner made, homework done, and into bed is a sprint.  We got a pool this summer so we took advantage of running home and jumping into the pool for a bit before dinner and bed.  This past 2 weeks kids and myself have been sick so trying to get us better before the holidays.

In November we found out that Hayden failed a hearing test at school where they tested frequencies.  So they referred us to an educational audiologist.  I made the appointment and when we arrived she checked in Hayden’s ears and the ear drum was covered in wax so she couldn’t do the testing she really wanted to.  So when she went the next day for her 5 year check up they were able to flush that out but low and behold she still had an ear infection lingering from the week before.  So now she got a 10 day round of anti-biotic.  Now we have to wait a few weeks to make sure the ears are all cleared up before we go back to audiologist.  I am praying that she doesn’t have hearing loss.

Next after the hearing situation is figured out it is on to the neurologist.  Hayden just had her 5th birthday so now is the time to do this.  Time to figure out if there is anything else going on with my Hayden.  Anything else that we can help her out with.  While she has made huge improvements this past year she is still not quite where she needs to be.  Sometimes I look at her in things she does or how she is and I can’t help but think this is not how a 5 year old should be.  It saddens me to think that.  Also need to get her prepared for kindergarten next year.  Her teachers at her early learning center are worried about her ability to do well in kindergarten.  So for the next few months it is going to be push push push with her.  Even though she is very good at pushing back and not wanting to do work at home.  Although I have seen a change in her this school year.  Now she gets excited to do work, she sees her older sister get out her backpack to do homework and she wants to play along.  Sometimes that is all it is, is her playing along but sometimes she wants to do homework.

So in 2012 here is to hoping to figure what is going on with Hayden and posting on this blog more!

More and more words

Everyday my daughter keeps saying more and more words. I get so excited when I hear her say something new. I’m always asking anyone around did you hear her say whatever she just said. Or I tell my boyfriend or my mom that she said this or that. It’s just so exciting to hear her say new words.

Differences from a year ago

My daughter continually amazes (and saddens) me.  I am amazed at how far she has come in the last year.  A year ago she was 3 and hadn’t started her preschool yet.  Now she is 4 and has been at her preschool for a full year.  Before she would never try to say any new words, she only had a few words she would even say and many of them were not the entire word.  Now she tries to say new words and has a much larger vocabulary now, yet not where she should be.  She’s a little more outgoing than she was, she’s not so scared of people any more.  Now she’s even helping the new younger student in her class, showing her the ropes as that was her a year ago.  Even though its been slow going I am glad she is making progress and hoping she continues on this path and the progress keeps coming for her.


So many initials so little time.  So we had parent teacher conference last night for Hayden with her teacher and her speech therapist.  They are going to recommend the occupational therapist to evaluate her.  She lacks strength in her body as well as her mouth.  So along with the CAS she also lacks strength in her mouth to make the words too.  They were waiting for her to develop more of an attention span before they started the ot so that she’d benefit from it.  So now there is going to be more people assisting Hayden to find her words, which is a good thing.  Whatever will help her I am all for.

We go next month for the IEP review.  I was not present for the initial review and neither was her father as we were not aware of what was going on.  Her grandma took her as it was explained to me by her dad just a evaluation.  He acted like he was doing it all only to find out she had an IEP and he never told me (no, no animosity here).  I on the other hand never knew one existed until I was able to get my hands on it to find out he never took her to begin with.  So now I’ll be able to sit down with the school and find out what it really means.

I miss my baby!

I miss my baby when she is gone.  You see her father and I are seperated (hopefully divorced soon) and we “share” the kids.  We each have them for a week at a time.  While I agreed to this in the begining I then changed my mind.  I wanted them with me all of the time, I wanted them to be with their mother who can be there to pick them up everyday after work.  Their father can’t, he tries but his work schedule won’t always allow it so his mom occasionally picks them up.  I picked a custody battle with their dad and he fought back.  At the result is that while we are both good parents he may win out in the battle because he is 2 blocks from the school they go to, blah blah blah.  I think that young kids should be with their mothers as long as that person is a good person and is a good mother!  And young girls should be with their mother, I would love to see their dad explain female issues to them when they ask.  While I won’t say he ‘s not a good dad, they should just be with me.  I can’t have my girls visit me, I am their mother!  So with the possibility of losing a custody battle I am settling, I am settling for seeing my girls every other week for a week at a time.  While not optimal, this is the least I will accept.  And I understand it is not what I was fighting for, I wanted them with me all of the time.  I wanted to make sure they had stability, they knew who was picking them up everyday, they have structure, and they have a good meal on the table everynight.  I know he tries his best but chicken nuggets and french fries are not the best to be giving kids all of the time.  No this is not the situation I would like to see but these are the cards I am dealt. 

Its just a weird feeling that every other week I’m a mom and the other weeks I’m not.  Last week I had to have them to the babysitter on time for Hayden to be picked up by the bus, I had to make lunches, I had to pick them up from the babysitter on time, I had to make dinner, I had to do homework, get baths, get to bed, grocery shop, laundry, etc.  This week I can do what ever I please, come and go when I want, stay at work late, don’t even have to make dinner if I want (although the other half may not agree with that).  I have no responsibility this week to my girls, they are their dad’s.  These are the weeks I don’t have to be mom!  While on one hand kind of fun the other hand sad!  Its fun for a minute to take a break from the hustle and bustle but then I realize they aren’t there!  The worst is at night that they aren’t there to hug, kiss, and tell them I love them and tuck them in their beds.  And then to not be able to wake them up in the morning and do it all over again.  The worst is to think that if this doesn’t all pan out with the custody, I may only have them one night a week and everyother weekend rather than the every other week I at least have now. 

I especially miss Hayden.  My oldest, Sydney, is 6 going on 16 and is just like me (my mom finds it hilarious).  She is the type that doesn’t need anything from me, she is miss independent.  She was 6 weeks premature and hasn’t stopped yet.  She is my social butterfly, and doesn’t care who she is with or where she is at she’s happy.  Hayden on the other hand is the opposite, she’s the one I want to proctect, the one that needs help and looking after and hard for me not to have with me.  Its hard because even though she is almost 4 it is like she is still 2 just in the way she is and acts and does things.  And she’s my baby, she’s my yougest.  (It is fun to try to explain to a 6 year old that she’ll always be my baby no matter how old or how big they get, she kind of doesn’t get it). 

While I do take advantage of the weeks I don’t have them and it is a break from the hustle and bustle of it all I would rather have them with me.  But like I said these are the cards I’m dealt at this time and I just wait till I have them with me again to hug and kiss and tell them I love them.

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